I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
