Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
