So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
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