I CAN MOONWALK!
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
it glows. i had to have it.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
