Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
