I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao