I didn't shave. On purpose
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
