I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
