I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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