Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I will be naked everywhere
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
The feeling are messing with the penis
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize