apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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