It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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