When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
