i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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