I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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