Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize