how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Randomize