FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
