I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
