420 ftw
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just invented taco cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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