In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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