i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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