google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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