i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
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i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
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Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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