They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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