you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
