Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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