Tell her she can't have a vagina
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize