I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
