i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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