Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
