is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
