Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
