I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
one two three fourrrrnication!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
