Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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