I'd wear matching sweaters with you
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
