break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
