I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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