you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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