At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
