nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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