oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
All I want is dick and wine.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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