You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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