I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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