everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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