doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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