i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
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did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
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It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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