I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
