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• (804): View more from Virginia

  im drinking this country out of the recession.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I'll always be here to give you immoral support.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher

  (312): View more from Illinois

  And maybe a life coach?

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao

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• (289): View more from Ontario

  In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.

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• (559): View more from California

  Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.

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