Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(907): View more from Alaska

I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.

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(907): I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it. http://tfl.nu/6xls

Replies (38) Good night (8797) Bad night (1529)
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(734): View more from Michigan

we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".

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(734): we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS". http://tfl.nu/4yux

Replies (23) Good night (767) Bad night (5863)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?

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(270): Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house? http://tfl.nu/tnd3

Replies (30) Good night (9331) Bad night (765)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.

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(732): Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night. http://tfl.nu/1hz1

Replies (13) Good night (3724) Bad night (1232)
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(727): View more from Florida

I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.

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(727): I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights. http://tfl.nu/lg7e

Replies (26) Good night (1114) Bad night (10440)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.

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(205): I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers. http://tfl.nu/jlqp

Replies (21) Good night (7248) Bad night (1545)
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(210): View more from Texas

Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.

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(210): Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16. http://tfl.nu/i5l7

Replies (20) Good night (1165) Bad night (4553)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look

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(717): tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look http://tfl.nu/7aaf

Replies (14) Good night (4369) Bad night (1126)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.

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(908): You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams. http://tfl.nu/yznu

Replies (23) Good night (3883) Bad night (1310)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!

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(+44): Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?! http://tfl.nu/zew5

Replies (1) Good night (804) Bad night (1117)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens

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(505): on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens http://tfl.nu/9djh

Replies (1) Good night (1589) Bad night (519)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying

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(330): I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying http://tfl.nu/l6qe

Replies (6) Good night (475) Bad night (816)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.

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(908): I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there. http://tfl.nu/gv3y

Replies (1) Good night (491) Bad night (736)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.

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(774): I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel. http://tfl.nu/y9e0

Replies (0) Good night (878) Bad night (377)
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(914): View more from New York

First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.

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(914): First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die. http://tfl.nu/ydxj

Replies (1) Good night (238) Bad night (595)

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