Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.

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  (724): so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca. (412): That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia. http://tfl.nu/lbkk
  Replies (84) Good night (2486) Bad night (732)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me

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  (318): I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me http://tfl.nu/y794
  Replies (39) Good night (715) Bad night (4445) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.

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  (972): Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife. http://tfl.nu/0n10
  Replies (7) Good night (4576) Bad night (1065) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.

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  (440): Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them. http://tfl.nu/0bl8
  Replies (13) Good night (910) Bad night (4926) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.

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  (760): so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig. http://tfl.nu/u35s
  Replies (12) Good night (1765) Bad night (4817) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.

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  (864): no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job. http://tfl.nu/97jt
  Replies (18) Good night (7925) Bad night (1723) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"

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  (613): And then she banged "the first Italian rapper" http://tfl.nu/oswg
  Replies (7) Good night (808) Bad night (2133) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.

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  (207): Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen. http://tfl.nu/y9fq
  Replies (30) Good night (5915) Bad night (1540) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom

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  (925): I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom http://tfl.nu/lg7c
  Replies (6) Good night (2880) Bad night (902) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?

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  (425): Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet? http://tfl.nu/nobj
  Replies (5) Good night (2921) Bad night (841) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference

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  (304): she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference http://tfl.nu/95t7
  Replies (4) Good night (2113) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?

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  (210): Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting? http://tfl.nu/he3z
  Replies (6) Good night (1043) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  ur mom makes the best bacon

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE

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  (570): ur mom makes the best bacon (1-570): WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE http://tfl.nu/0ryx
  Replies (13) Good night (3517) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.

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  (913): This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for. http://tfl.nu/vkxq
  Replies (4) Good night (641) Bad night (257) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.

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  (920): I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it. http://tfl.nu/sqkc
  Replies (2) Good night (638) Bad night (120) Order T-Shirt

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