i may or may not be watching the land before time
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
