you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
