I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Someone shattered a urinal.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
