I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
