New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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