hotel room ftw
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize