omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize