ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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