oh god the rape fog is back!
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize