The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize