Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
