The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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