I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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